So tonight on the way home from basketball, lily asked me if I wanted her to turn “Photograph” by Ed Sheeran off as it came on the iPod because she didn’t want it to make me sad.

I had to explain that whilst it makes me sad, it also brings me happiness remembering the cherished memories of the photos that were played along with it at your funeral.

It’s been 1171 hours since I got that phone call, the one that changed every part of my world and my soul in a way I couldn’t ever imagine.

The first two weeks feel like a blur, the absolute definition of survival mode 

I went to work but I tell you what, I know we joked about all the things people complain about but when you’re feeling broken it’s really hard to have the tolerance and grace to help them but I knew that you wouldn’t want me to be jaded, so I put my big girl pants on and did it to the best of my ability.

If I could, I would have called you and told you about the role I applied for, I didn’t even get a look in but I’m so proud of myself for trying. 

You would be so proud of the basketball club dad, I wish you could have seen the amazing little community we have helped to build, they are a true extension of our family, certainly one that is helping me fill the void when I miss you, I even have a couple of kids who have joked about being the extra Radford kids we didn’t have & my heart is so full knowing I’m having a positive impact on young lives.

Oh we got a trailer on the weekend, I’m excited that we will finally be able to have our own to cut wood and do rubbish trips!!

I made sure we sent Kate some flowers to celebrate the amazing and exciting opportunity for her Sew Fun and Funky stock to be on display at Kel’s shop Cadootje, I told her how proud of her you would be too, I just know it.

Lily is playing a basketball tournament this weekend and I will be sure to cheer extra loud for you, she is getting so good Dad, it’s just her confidence we need work on! I think she gets that from me!!

Ira is good but when he’s naughty he’s super naughty, I know it’s the age but man, I’m getting over bedtime!!! 

Watching football makes me too sad still, it was “our thing” we talked about every call without fail but just so you know Geelong are 3rd on the ladder and Hawks are 5th…. Don’t get too cocky, it’s only percentage separating us!!!!

They’re calling this week a “once in a hundred year” flood, I’ve never seen anything like it and we had 2 days we had to head home to make sure we didn’t get stranded on the other side of the river! Like nothing we’ve ever seen before!!

I think that’s a lot of what you’ve missed,  we have started planning our next trip to Bali, I had really hoped to get to go back there one day with you being you’re the reason I fell in love with the place!!!

I have started thinking about writing the novel I wanted to write before I turned 30, I’ll be honest I didn’t ever do it cause I didn’t think you would have liked me telling my stories even if they were only loosely based on true events, but I’m thinking maybe now is the time, see if I can put pen to paper and write myself a best seller!!!

Anyways, I guess that’s it for now, I miss you more than ever…. 

After all it’s been – 

4,217,507 seconds

70,291 minutes

1171 hours 

48 days 

7 weeks