Today is the anniversary of our engagement, 4 beautiful years ago!

When Roger & I got engaged, everyone was so quick to offer marital advice, funnily enough most of it came from either unmarried people or those who had been through divorce.

To this day, there is only one piece of advice that I loved, it was from a family friend of Rogers, he simply said “Be nice to one another”…. So can a marriage really thrive living by that principle? Can it really be that simple??

I believe so!!

If you live with that as one of your main values & follow a few other guidelines, I think everyone can be blissfully happy!

There are a few things lately that have made me think about love, life & relationships, so if I were to write a book on making a relationship/marriage work, it would be incredibly short & sweet!

Chapter 1 – Communicate
Communication is the key to ANY relationship working, at home, at work and with friends, without it you are left frustrated not knowing how anyone feels or what is bothering them! Hide NOTHING from one another, even if you think it’s trivial or unimportant, if you feel the need to hide it, then it’s probably wrong & could have a negative effect on your relationship

Chapter 2 – Never take each other for granted.
On any given day, we don’t know what is around the corner. Appreciate each other & the little things in your life. Remember to tell your husband/wife that you love them but most importantly SHOW them!
For anyone who hasn’t read the book “the 5 love languages” by Gary Chapman, it is an absolute MUST!! 

Chapter 3 – Celebrate together.
Roger & I still celebrate milestones of our relationship. The anniversary of us becoming a couple, getting engaged, getting married & most recently, the anniversary of finding out our first child together was on his way!
You don’t have to buy gifts or make a big hooha but simply remembering these times helps you to remember why you fell in love! If we don’t have the money to go out, we have “Date Nights”, cooking something yummy for dinner & watching a movie! It’s that simple, it’s about remembering not money!!
Date nights are important, with or without a reason or anniversary behind them too!

Chapter 4 – Intimacy is more important than you think!
Being intimate with your husband/wife is vital to have a healthy relationship, I mean if you can’t connect with your partner on the one level that is truly only yours, then what’s the point?! 
Remember, intimacy doesn’t just mean Sex, it can be a cuddle, a kiss or being held in your partners arms before you roll over & go to sleep!

Chapter 5 – Spend time together.
Life gets in the way of so many things, spending time with friends & family is one of them, it’s a harsh reality of growing up!! Make spending time with your other half a priority, this can be as simple as staying home and watching tv or you can go out to do things you both enjoy!! “A family that plays together, Stays together”

Chapter 6 – Be Nice
The sixth and final chapter of my hypothetical book would be this!
Be Nice!! Its not hard to say “how are you?” or “how was your day?” this is a great start!! If you argue, play fair, don’t call each other names or be nasty, you’ll never get anywhere if you do! 
People often don’t believe me when I say Roger & I don’t Fight or Argue, some even believe that it’s not healthy, I completely wholeheartedly disagree!
By using the other points above in our every day lives, there has been no need! We talk & whenever either of us do get crabby or frustrated with the other one, we simply play fair which avoids the need to yell & scream!


Now saying all of that, we are not and will never be perfect or profess to have a “perfect relationship”, we just made a choice to work on our relationship ever day when we took our wedding vows! We stood before our friends, family & before God to love one another, cherish each other in sickness & in health, in good times & bad. 

Living by these vows is how we (and you all) can have a happy and healthy marriage!

Enough of my ramblings for today, Happy Engagement Anniversary Roger, I’m happier now than I was that day & look forward to many many more years of celebrating with you!!

Be Nice to one another people

Jess xxx